


The Pros and Cons of Owning a Circus

by ImmediatelyWriting



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Acting, Before Book Of Circus, Beginnings, Black Butler - Freeform, Book of Circus Characters, Circus, Circus Arc (Kuroshitsuji), East End, East Ender, Fanfiction, First Meetings, First time meeting Snake, Flyers, Friendship, Gen, Getting Together, Gutter Rats, Inspired by Kuroshitsuji, Kuroshitsuji OST, Kuroshitsuji: Book of Circus - Freeform, Little more Book of Circus content, Nicknames, Noah's Ark, One Shot, Peter and Wendy - Freeform, Pre-Black Butler, Pre-Canon, Pre-Kuroshitsuji, Shopping, Shopping for Clothes, Short, Stagenames, Street Rats, The circus ark working up to first ever performance, Young Beast, Young Dagger, Young Doll, Young Joker, Young Peter, Young Snake, young Wendy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmediatelyWriting/pseuds/ImmediatelyWriting
Summary: After getting plucked off the streets, our beloved gutter rats started ruling a circus. They’d never thought this would be so much work. Going from choosing stage names and acts to shopping for clothes and training everyone.How is our humble family doing when working up to their first performance and will they eventually have an audience to perform for... and of course the skills and guts to actually do anything while on stage for the very first time.
Kudos: 13





	1. Quite the Unusual Bunch

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pre-Black Butler – Book of Circus fanfiction, I suggest to first watch this season before reading this fanfiction. Not because of spoilers, but because you’ll probably want to know Joker, Beast, Dagger, Doll, Snake, Peter, Wendy and Jumbo before reading something completely about our beloved circus crew :)
> 
> Also, I do not own the characters in this fanfiction... They are from the anime/manga Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji) and so they belong to Yana Toboso (writer manga). 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this small fanfiction, keep me updated on what you think :)  
> A writer needs her feedback, you know ;)
> 
> Also! This story has already been finished.
> 
> Love, Noa

**Joker**

Not long after us gutter rats had been plucked off the streets, the real work had begun. At first I didn’t think trying to get a circus going would be that big of a task, but running one proofed itself to be pretty hard.

Like anyone would, we started out by picking stage names. I became Joker, and then there’s my fellow gutter rats and humble family: Jumbo, Beast, Dagger, Doll, Peter and Wendy.

A seemingly small group to run a complete circus. Also, too few and untalented people for decent performance which would draw an audience. So the search for talented folks that wanted to join us began.

We searched everywhere, finding quite a bunch wanting to join us. Unfortunately these weren’t folks with real talents, but more rather unusual persons like the batch we started off with.

Now, this meant we had to start training both ourselves and the herd we had gathered. Making it even more of a tough task.

This began with me going around, asking what everyone would want to do. Of course, I started by asking Beast, Dagger, Doll and the other first-string members. With choosing our acts we had to also keep in mind that our bodies still were quite broken; even though we got fixed up with new limbs, there were some errors from time to time. We couldn’t risk anything like letting beast walk the tightrope or making me do the trapeze. We had to think everything through rationally.

Dagger was still holding on to the thought of throwing knifes. Not only because he’d love to learn it, but also because it suited his new name.

“It’d be strange if I’d start making cartwheels all over the place,” he said, chuckling and glancing at Beast for approval. “Wouldn’t it?”

So, just like that, we decided that Dagger would be our knife thrower. One down, but a lot left to decide.

Peter and Wendy asked for an act together, because that’d be most enjoyable to them. Since none of their bodies had ever been broken and both Wendy and Peter were rather flexible, I didn’t mutter when they asked for the trapeze act.

Jumbo didn’t ask for a lot, only a tad bit of time on stage would be enough to please him. He’d rather have one of the small opening acts, than having to be the climax of the show.

I immediately saw to that. Meaning I was going to think about it, trying to come up with a wee act that’d still give him the chance to steal the show.

Beast and Doll, on the other hand had a lot more trouble coming with a fitting act. Beast suggested doing trampoline acts, or doing something with acrobatics. She even mentioned something with a curtain way of dancing.

I must admit, she’s always had the right curves and looks to be doing a dance or something acrobatic. Unfortunately, I had to turn down those suggestions.

“Why, Joker?” she asked me, explaining how strong she’d become with her new leg.

I shook my head and I would’ve walked away if it hadn’t been her I was talking with. So, I took a deep breath and told her it’d be too much of a risk. I pointed out all of the problems she’d been experiencing with her prosthesis lately. If something like that would occur on stage, or while practicing something difficult, it could easily hurt her or break the prosthesis. It would possibly get her to be unable to perform for days, weeks or even months.

After a long argue about this, Beast had finally agreed on it being rather foolish to let her do something acrobatic. She had to come up with something new, and fast.

That left Doll and me still having to pick one of the ruling acts... and of course all the performers of every side-act had to be decided as well.

Before picking one ruling act myself, I went to the youngest of the bunch; my young darlin’ sister from another mister, Doll. She’d been thinking about what she wanted to do for a while now.

“Nothin’ too girly!” she demanded right away. I immediately thought she’d bring me a large list of requirements, but after all that was her only wish. Other than that, she couldn’t care less about what act she’d get. She just wouldn’t be wearing dresses or girly make up. Neither would she put her hair in a ponytail, knot or anything that’d make her mutilated eye show.

We went through almost all of her options for the ruling acts. She rejected everything from doing fire performances to doing a clown act. But after almost an hour of searching for the right act, she chose – the in my opinion most girly act of all – walking the tightrope.

“No, that isn’t girly at all, Joker,” she yelled at me when I pointed out how girly that act would be in my opinion. “Even the toughest fellas, like you, wouldn’t have the balls to cross a tightrope.”

I chuckled, leaning against the wall. I tousled her brown hair as she stuck out her tongue before pushing me onto the floor to show me how strong and manly she could be.

I laughed even harder when she teasingly said, “See? You don’t even have the guts to push me back, pussy!”

I glanced at her with a serious look on my face while whispering, “Are ya sure, little missy?” before getting on my feet and lifting her up. While I held her in the air I tickled her, she was swinging her legs and laughing and shrieking.

“Not so tough now, are we?” I joked before putting her down.

She stared at me, not laughing anymore, and asked, “So, what act are you going to do?”

I shrugged. That was the biggest question of all: What performance was I going to do?

That same evening, I sat down and glanced at the piece of paper in my hand. Everything had been written down from Beast still thinking about her choice to Dagger who knew exactly what he wanted to do.

As I looked at my scribbled handwriting in between the blue lines, I spotted my name. The space behind it, still empty.

What was I going to do?

I wouldn’t want to dance or jump on a trampoline, that would look strange. Riding a unicycle wouldn’t suit me either.

But what would?

There’s not even one act that would suit me in the slightest. It would all look weird or it’d be dangerous to do while I’m still adjusting to my new right hand.

I sighed before leaning with my head against the wall. I was exhausted, running all over the places trying to get everything ready to communicate it to father.

All the paperwork is depended on me. Without me doing everything right on paper, father wouldn’t give us the money to buy enough uniforms.

I yawn, my eyes were nearly closing even though the clock only just ringed to tell me it had just gotten nine P.M.. Not late at all.

My hand fell from my lap to the ground as my eyes slowly closed.

Today had been too exhausting.


	2. Hooping, Acrobatics and Unicycling

**Beast**

Another day began with Joker running around and trying to get everything going.

While he was trying to get the paperwork together, Dagger, Doll, Jumbo, Peter, Wendy and I were trying to get everyone training on some common circus acts.

We split the whole twenty headed group into four small groups.

Dagger would train a group of five on the unicycles.

Peter and Wendy would train five people on hooping and acrobatics.

Jumbo helped five people with chair balancing.

That left Doll and me to train a five headed group of people to do assistant jobs on and off stage. After all we needed people backstage to call people when needed on stage, we found our assistant for Dagger’s knife throwing act and we needed people who could put the needed props on stage and removed them afterwards.

It was quite boring to train people to do such things. I’d rather taught them how to ride a unicycle than how to clean up after everyone’s done.

Fortunately we finished training by noon. We were forced to stop when Joker came in, a worried look on his face.

As soon as everyone had left, he looked at all of us one by one. He opened his mouth, shyly glanced away and asked, “What act would suit me?”

I shrugged, even though I’d always found him a quite social person. Joker’s awkward, but he still managed to say the right things. I’d imagine him being the main speaker of the circus, but I wouldn’t know if he’d like that himself.

“What would you think of acrobatics in those curtain things?” Doll suggested.

Joker shook his head and answered, “Too dangerous, what if my hand aches while doing such performance?” he answered, he really wanted no one to be in danger. “It could be fatal.”

Doll sadly looked down at her feet, but she didn’t give up as she kept suggesting different acts. Joker refused to do any of them out of safety.

“Uhm, Joker?” I asked, he turned to me immediately with curiosity in his eyes. “What if you’d become our main speaker? You know the announcer of all acts and the opener of the show?”

Joker’s cheeks turned red as everyone agreed that he should be the one doing that. He’d been leading this enormous group for the last few days, it’d been mean not to give him at chance at taking the main act of the show.

“Yeah, I dunno,” he mumbled.

“No, Joker,” I said, making him look up at me. “You can do this. There are enough reasons, this act is meant to be. You’re talkative, cheerful...”

“Good with kids,” Doll added.

Dagger chuckled before saying, “And you’re loud. Everyone would be able to hear you.”

“Yeah, even the last row,” Peter joked.

We all stared at Joker, waiting for his answer. But Joker didn’t answer, he looked down at his lap, his cheeks still as red as roses.

“Well?” I asked.

He looked up, he hesitated one more time before grinning. “Alright then,” he replied, his blush slowly took away. “I’ll be your main announcer... your Ringleader”


	3. Dresses... Many dresses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I have gone to the movies with a friend yesterday evening and totally forgot to post the new chapter... My fault... Here it is after all, sorry again for the longer wait, I'll try to keep up with posting but I'm also going into my exams really soon... I'll try, but I can't promise I get to posting every sunday and Thursday... Sorry...
> 
> Love, Noa <3

**Doll**

“Okay, everyone get ready!” Joker said as he held an envelope in the air.

Beast, Dagger, Wendy, Peter, Jumbo and I all sat on the damp grass in the courtyard of the workhouse. Everyone was eager to know what Joker had hidden in the envelope.

“We’re going to buy some outfits!” he cheerfully announced while he pulled a pile of money from the envelope. “Father gave us money to buy circus uniforms and greasepaint for everyone.”

I jumped up, shrieking, “Yes!”. I’d never gone out to buy clothing, it’s not like we had the money before father had found us.

Joker chuckled, he tousled my hair before telling all of us to get up and come with him. We’d finally go to shops to buy clothes for the first time.

It didn’t take long to get to the closest shopping street. It almost felt filthy to walk through the rich streets, as every one of the rich folks would look at our old and worn out clothing. Because even though we hadn’t been living on the streets for quite some time, and our clothes had been washed, people still managed to see that group of poor children.

While trying to ignore what people thought of us, we walked into a clothes store. A little bell rang as we came in through the door and within no time a man stood in front of us.

“Can a help you, young folk?” the man asked with a polite though confused smile.

I took at step back, almost falling backwards while bumping into Beast, while Joker stepped forward.

“Yes, sir,” he said, as fancy as he was able to. “We are searching for some nice, though colourful clothing. May we have a look around?”

The shop owner stepped aside and let us into his rather large shop. There were fancy shirts, white dresses and entire suits hanging from the wall.

I mouth opened stared at all the clothes as the man told us to fit whatever we fancied.

Peter and Wendy immediately left to see the smallest clothing in the shop, while Jumbo asked where he could find the largest.

That left Beast, Dagger, Joker and me back at the door. I had no idea where to look first. Even though I’d never liked dresses, those white ones with frayed edges and large bows all looked really beautiful and fancy to me.

Dagger immediately turned to Beast, telling her he could tell her exactly in which dress she’d look the prettiest. Right after that he took off with her, pulling her to the section with leather dresses.

I looked up to Joker, who stared at the clothes with wide eyes. I had never seen him that amazed in my whole life.

He glanced at me when he noticed me looking at him. He grinned before saying, “That leaves us, huh?”

I nodded.

“Let’s get looking for an outfit to your taste then.” He laid his hand on my back while escorting me to the “young ladies” department of the shop.

Joker let go of my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “Stay here until I get back, okay?”

I nodded and answered, “I’m not a child anymore, you can go and look for your own outfit.”

He nodded and smiled at me before walking away.

I looked up, searching for a suiting dress. Everything there were hanging, were dresses. Small or large, short or long, with or without bow. Every fabric, just another shade of a different colour.

A long, tight, black dress caught my eye first. Maybe because the bottom part of it looked rather like pants than an actual dress. But I eventually realised it’d be too tight for the act I was going to perform.

A loose and quite baggy dress grabbed my attention next, but the bright pink was way too girly for my taste.

I searched, digging for the right dress. But I couldn’t find one.

It took me so long, that by the time I had given up, Joker had returned with his outfit all ready picked out and fitted completely.

“Have you found one already?” he asked.

I shook my head, sadly looking down at the floor. “They have nothing good.”

Joker made some thinking-sounds while searching in between the dresses. I watched as he picked out a white dress with silver flowers on the dress-coat. He matched it with a pair of flat, white shoes and leggings, one black and one white.

He looked at me, handing me the outfit.

“Why don’t you fit this?” he asked while pointing at the fitting room. “I bet it’ll look adorable.”

I looked down at the pile he had just pushed into my hands and hesitatingly walked into the fitting room.

I fit on the clothes and when I looked in the mirror I almost liked it. It’s too big, meaning that the dress was a little baggy and the leggings weren’t quite tight enough. But Joker was right, it looked good.

By the time I changed back into my own clothes and left the fitting room, everyone had already gathered there. They all had chosen their outfits. Joker even went crazy and chose an outfit for every one of the other performers.

“Is that one going to do?” Joker asked.

I nodded, happy I had finally found the right outfit.

We paid for clothing, and we even had money to spare. Of course this was great, some of us would be needing make-up, wigs or hair dye, so we could use the extra money.

Everything went in bags, going from Joker’s extensive outfit – existing of a white shirt, a black and golden suit coat, striped pants a golden bow and black heels – to Peter and Wendy’s simple outfits – a pink dress and a green suit.

I believe everyone was really glad we all got our outfits together. Amazed at how many choice of clothing the rich people have.

With our acts decided, our training started and outfits together, the real work could begin.


	4. Noah's Ark Circus

**Dagger**

We all knew, now everything had been decided and we were training hard for days already, it was time to spread posters for our first time performance. The only problem, we didn’t yet have our posters made... or decided on a name for the circus.

Joker got all of us first-string members together to talk about this important subject. We had to decide a name. One we all liked, would sound attracting for the audience and would suit our acts.

“East End Circus,” Doll suggested. She explained it would tell people we’re living on the streets before starting this circus, it would tell our story.

“Yeah, but so would The Gutter Circus, wouldn’t you agree?” Joker answered. “That wouldn’t really attract people.”

Beast thought deeply before she suggested, “Tower Bridge Show, maybe?”

Joker wrote it down, and if he hadn’t I would’ve told him to write it down, because Beast’s amazing ideas cannot be ignored.

“Anyone else?” Joker asked, it was clear he had some ideas himself as well.

I opened my mouth, still thinking of a good name.

_London’s Spectacle?_ No... too blunt.

_Marvellous Aerial Circus?_ Too... strange.

“The Enchanting Circus,” I mumbled, not even noticing that I said that out loud until Peter and Wendy started laughing.

“Wait, you’re kidding right?” Peter laughed.

“You must be,” Wendy said.

Beast turned to the two and sighed. “Well, we’re here to consider names. He’s at least trying.”

She smiled at me when Peter and Wendy stopped laughing at me. I smiled back and as my eyes met her I suddenly felt really warm.

She glanced away again, but I watched her as she opens her mouth and asked, “So, Joker? Have you got any ideas?”

Joker shrugged and thought.

“I was thinking something like Mayor Make-Believe Show...” He hesitated, shaking his head as he said it out loud. “No... no.” He tapped with his fingers on this ground besides him when a large grin appeared on his face.

“What?” Beast asked in curiosity.

“I got it,” Joker cheerfully replied. “The Noah’s Ark Circus.”


	5. Snake

**Joker**

Again a few days had passed by. They went fast as everyone was busy training to get their act good enough. Doll was doing balance practice, Dagger was training his throwing skills and Peter and Wendy have been practicing their trapeze act. Then there’s Jumbo, who eventually got the fire breathing act and Beast who chose to be our animal tamer.

And me... Our Ringleader.

I wrote my text, every word I have to say when on stage. Only thing left to do is practicing some quick tricks like juggling and such. And of course I had to learn everything I need to say by heart within a month.

Today we had to go out to spread the posters we’d made a few days ago. Otherwise no one will come to see our first show.

Jumbo, Wendy and Peter had to stay at the training field with the rest of the performers to get some more practice going, while Beast, Dagger, Doll and I went outside to spread around some posters.

We didn’t have too many big posters to hang on walls, so we had to hand some to people to even spread the news of our circus. At first it was quite scary to approach people like that and explaining that we were a new circus with large acts.

Some people didn’t even bother to stop when we wanted to explain them what it was all about and just threw their poster on the ground right in front of us.

“Look over here!” Doll yelled and she gestured at a large group of people. “This is our chance to spread the news to a bigger audience.”

“Yes, good idea,” I answered and I called over Beast and Dagger, who were spreading out flyers a little further.

We walked up to the group, but they didn’t seem interested in us. Not even slightly. Their attention was taken by something they were gathered around. A large cage, probably holding something. I couldn’t see what was in it, because of the crowd gathered around it.

“So, what do we do now?” Dagger asked, but I hadn’t got the slightest idea of what to do about this uninterested crowd of people. We couldn’t just leave, it was such a missed chance if we did that.

So I took a deep breath and told my group, “I’ll be the announcer then.” After I said that I squeezed myself past the people, excusing myself while I pushed people aside.

When I’d finally reached the centre of the crowd, I saw what was hiding in the cage. A young boy had been put in the cage. He looked very scrawny and his white-grey hair was rather greasy. The boy stared at the ground with an unpleasant look on his face as snakes crawled onto him.

My breath jolted when I heard the loud noise of whipping. I glanced aside, at an older man who whipped the young boy.

“Come on, show them what you got!” the man yelled at the poor kid. “Stupid snake boy!”

The kid opened his mouth to speak, but something in me said he didn’t want to. So I stepped forward and took the moment of silence for granted.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gents,” I said in my loudest possible voice, like I’d practiced to. “My name is Joker and I have a big announcement to make!”

I heard the man yelling at me while I spoke, but I ignored him completely. I had the attention, which was all I needed. Now I’d only have to sell our circus.

“Over a month a new circus will visit your town,” I announced. “There’ll be fire breathers, animal tamers, knife throwers, trapezes, a dance across a tightrope and much more! If you’re interested to see the Noah’s Ark Circus performing, feel free to come by!”

I felt how my voice took off when a man in the audience yelled, “Yeah, can we see the Snakeman now!”

I swallowed, stepped back and fell against the cage. I shrieked as a fell to the ground and dropped all the flyers when my broken body collapsed against the cage of the snake boy.

“Filthy kid,” the man added angrily.

I looked down at the ground, at my left hand, it was bleeding and scraped from breaking my fall. Now, I realised that even though I had new, clean, fancy clothes and a job to do, people still saw me as the gutter rat I used to be. A filthy nameless kid, without a future.

“What are you saying?” a young, familiar female voice yells. “You can’t talk like that to him! He’s my family, ya know!”

I looked up, seeing how Doll was screaming at the man and Dagger stood behind her to intimidate the man. Beast immediately rushed up to me though. She kneeled down next to me and asked, “Are you okay, Joker?”

I nodded, and I quickly hid my hurt hand with ripped glove behind my back.

Beast smiled at me, stood on her feet and helped me up as well.

The audience was shocked when the next thing happened. I walked up to the old man, the one who owned the snake kid, or stole him away from his parents for as far as I know.

“Say, mister,” I said, loud enough that everyone could hear me. “I don’t think this young man wants to do this.” I gestured at the snake kid, his large yellow eyes stared at me full disbelieve.

The man chuckled angrily as he tried to push me away.

“That’s not his choice, is it?” the man rudely told me before demanding the snake boy to say he liked doing this.

I turned to the kid, kneeled until I was at his height and asked, “Tell me kid, without listening to that old bastard. Do you like doing this, stuck in a cage?”

The kid’s yellow eyes stared at me and his mouth opened.

“Of course he liked it!” the old man yells. “He would be on the streets if it wasn’t for me!”

I shrugged, turning to Beast. “Can you keep the man quiet for a while, Beast?”

She immediately saw to it, wrapping her hand over the man’s mouth. It was followed by the whispers of people; I heard some of them saying we were doing a good job helping the poor boy, while others found us a disgrace to humanity saving a deformed species like him.

“So, kid,” I said and I put my left hand into the cage. “Do you like this cage? This _Job_?”

The boy looked down at the ground, the look on his face didn’t chance when he said, in a squeaky voice, “ _I never really liked this cage_... says Emily.” He looked at one of the other snakes and in a deeper voice he added, “ _No, me neither_... says Oscar.”

Right after he looked to me, a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “And I don’t like it at all.”

His hand carefully wrapped around mine, and one of the snakes crawled onto me.

“ _Will you help us, sir?_ ... Asks Webster.”

I swallowed. _He can control snakes?_ I wondered with my mouth opened from disbelieve.

“Yes,” I said, while nodding. “I... we.” I gestured at Beast, Doll and Dagger gathered behind me. “We’ll find you a more fun and suiting home, outside of a cage.”

The snake carefully crawled back onto its owner before I took my hand out of the cage. I walked up to the man, took the key from his belt.

I put it in the keyhole and carefully opened the cage. After helping the boy on his feet, I wrapped my hand around his bony shoulders. I looked at him as I told the snake boy, “From now on, you may belong to our humble family, if you want.” He nodded. “What’s your name, kid?’

The boy looked at me, his face full on confusion.

“I-I have no name,” he mumbled before turning his eyes to the ground.

I smile, tousling the young boy’s hair.

“Do you want to choose one?”

He shrugged. “ _What about kid?_... asks Wordsworth.”

“Do you like the name kid?”

He shrugged again.

One of the snakes hissed and the boy said, “ _You should go with Snake!_... Says Goethe.” The boy looked at me and said, “I agree.”

I nodded, turning to the crowd and picking the scrawny boy – now named Snake – up. I held him in the air, where everyone could see him and his snaky friends.

“From now on,” I started. “This kid will be a free man! Snake will be a boy with choices!”


	6. Snake Dance

**Snake**

The nice sir took me and the snakes with him, to a place where they had build up a few tents. Small ones, just to keep them from the rain at night.

He showed us around and gave us a place to sleep in one of the tents. He explained they were an upcoming, travelling circus. We would be able to stay there, he said he even had a small job for us here, but only if we all agreed on doing it.

“If you’d want to,” he said, crouched down besides us while handing me over a blanket. “I could give you an act, you could go on stage with us and your snakes.”

I shrugged, glanced over at Emily for approval.

_I’d like that..._ She hissed

Oscar joined the conversation: _So would I!_

I nodded, looking back at the orange haired man.

“We’d like to.”

The man nodded, a nice smile on his face. “You may decide what you want to do; you can do anything going from a dance to having a conversation with the snakes. I don’t mind, as long as you like it.”

I nodded again.

The man walked away, telling us he’d be back later, but we could always go outside if we needed anything. There should be enough people to help us when we’re in need of help.

_Nice place, don’t you think?_ Webster asked, while crawling over the floor.

“Quite,” I whisper.

_Don’t lie, you love it!_ Hissed Emily, who clearly liked a tent better than a cage.

I looked down at her and shrugged.

Wordsworth interrupted my thoughts by suggesting: _We should think of an act._

I nodded and said, “Okay.”

_I think we should do a dance!_ Donne suggested, but Oscar disagrees. _No, not a dance... we should do something fun, like playing music!_

I shook my head. “I’m not singing... Let’s do Donne’s idea.”

Oscar angrily hissed and hid away into a corner.

I lay down on the bed the nice man gave us, immediately getting surrounded by Wilde, Bronte, Donne, Wordsworth, Emily and Keats.

With their warmth surrounding me, I felt save. Safer than ever, so after years of insomnia, I finally fell asleep.


	7. Three days left...

**Beast**

The heavy lifting started three days before the actual live performance. We had to actually build our tent, today... in one day.

It wasn’t such a big tent, but still it had to be put up, together with a second tent for backstage. And chairs, enough for three rows all around, had to be carried inside. Together with all the props for our acts.

It was a lot of heavy lifting all together. Everyone had to help, because there was so much to do. So while Doll, Dagger, Snake and I made sure every chair got inside and was placed in the right spot, Peter, Wendy and a few of the other performers made sure the props which already had to be placed on stage – like the tightrope and such – were put down. Joker and the rest of the performers had been building up all tents this morning, really early, and were now dragging the props backstage.

“Do you need any help, Beast?” Dagger asked me with a large grin on his face. I was carrying four chairs inside at the same time, but it wasn’t really as heavy as it looked. Dagger, who only was carrying one chair, apparently thought a lady could use some help.

I shook my head. “No, thank you.”

We both put down our chairs in the place where they should be placed. I stared at the rows of chairs that had already been placed. Many, many chairs.

“What?” Dagger asked, I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Is something wrong?”

I shrugged and glanced at him.

Everything was leading up to this grant performance. Everyone looked like they were ready for it; Dagger dyed most of his hair blonde, Doll had been fitting different wigs, Snake had been walking around with his snakes all the time, Joker had been practicing how to walk on heels and I... I’d been spending most of my time with the animals, finding a way to “tame” them.

“It’s just all...” I stammered, looking back at the chairs. “It’d be creepy if so many people would actually come to our show... wouldn’t you think?”

Everyone had been practicing their acts; everyone knew their acts by heart. But what if so many people would come to see us... what if we messed up?

“Of course,” Dagger replied. “It’d be terrifying, but we can all do this. Especially you, you’ll be amazing even if the animals don’t listen to you on stage.”

I chuckled, glancing at Dagger. His face was as red as a rose and there was a large grin on his face.

“Thank you,” I said and I smiled at him, making him turn even redder.

Dagger thanked me, but quickly said we had a few more chairs waiting to be brought inside. I nodded, he was right; we shouldn’t be sauntering. Not so soon before the big show.

As Dagger walked away, I turned around and said, “Hey! Dagger!”

He turned around. “Huh?”

“I bet you’ll be amazing too,” I told him. “But please don’t mess up, we don’t want to lose any performers on stage.” I winked and an awkward smile appeared on Dagger’s face.

“I’ll be great,” he said and as he eyes met mine, he added, “But only if you promise you’ll be watching.”

I nodded.

“I Promise.”


	8. Perform!

**Joker**

_Calm down!_

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

I stared at myself in the mirror. It was the big day, the grand show.

A big amount make-up was hiding the black circles under my eyes, I hadn’t slept in days. I never thought I would be this nervous.

But here I was, telling myself to be calm... to keep breathing. This, five minutes before going on stage. I could already hear the talking of people in the distance.

“It’s your time to shine,” Beast’s voice said.

I turned around to see the group, my family, standing there.

Doll walked up to me and gave me a quick hug, within a few seconds everyone had joined in. Beast, Dagger, Jumbo, Wendy, Peter, Doll, they were all hugging me. Even Snake and his snakes had stepped closer to give me a hug.

“It’s show time,” I mumbled, while I walked closer to the stage.

I could see the people, not many, but still more than I’d ever seen. They’d all gathered here to see us perform.

All I had to do, was make a great start.

I look behind me, at my small and broken and scraped together family. They were sure I could this, and if they believed I could do this. I would.

I made my entrance, running to the middle of the stage. Spotlights now shining on me. I spread my arms wide and yelled, “Ladies and gentleman!”

People whispered.

Was I loud enough? Or too loud?

“Boys and girls of all ages?”

Could they even understand me? Or was I talking in such an accent no one heard what I said.

“Welcome to the Noah’s Ark Circus!”

Oh, no! I was turning red, and my voice was already getting hoarse from the yelling. I knew I was nervous... But not _this_ nervous.

What was my text again? What did I do at this part of my act?

“I’m Joker,” I said, while throwing the balls in the air. “this evening’s ringleader.”

_Just breathe in... Juggle your balls... and shit!_

All at once, I dropped my balls. Unintended.

People laughed, I’d fucked up. There wouldn’t be any use in continuing, the people would only be laughing at how bad everything was.

They still saw us as the weak kids who had been living on the street. I still was weak at this moment, even with two arms I couldn’t even juggle a few balls for long enough.

But as I turned around to walk off stage, I saw them standing there. My fellow performers, my family... telling me to continue. Doll stuck her thumbs up and Beast mouthed “you’re doing great”.

So I turned around. Complete silence.

I closed my eyes, bowed forward. I breathed in, and out and continued. For the sake of my fellow performers, for my friends, my family... for the circus!

“A pleasure to meet you, it is!” 

All I had to do was continue, talk my way out of this mess.

“Tonight you’re sure to see performances that’ll stun and amaze you! It’ll leave you breathless!”

I got upright, looked at the audience. To my surprise, they seemed to be loving it!

A smile appeared on my face as I said, “And now with the great blow from our very own fire-breathing Jumbo, the greatest show of the century begins!”

As Jumbo blew his fire across the room, amazing the audience, I ran off stage. And the only thing I could think when I heard the people applauding and cheering was: I actually did it!

Our show had began.

And I knew, our circus would be known in all of England. Noah’s Ark Circus would be the greatest circus of the century!

**The end.**


End file.
